Direction X

School:

These classes are so confusing... And there's so much to do in such little time. I cannot physically concentrate. I need to schedule an MIR or CAT scan with my doctor tomorrow, so they can determine just exactly what happened to my brain when I fell down the stairs. I'm also on two different kinds of meds, both of which make me extremely sleepy, hence the endless cans of Redbull in my recycling bin. :(

I'm at a cross-road. I want to stay in the UMaine system. I like it. But they do not offer Film Studies. I so wish they did. Anywhere I go to school it will have to be online. I despise online classes. They are not for me. I have no choice.

Living space:

Shannon and Dan are moving. To Rollinsford. They are going to sell their house.

I can either commute 45mins each way with tolls, or move to Barrington, Madbury, or Dover.

I do not like this. I bitched and moaned about how much I wanted to move, but I'm scared as fuck.

I don't want to leave Tom. And no, he is not my security blanket. I love him, and the living arrangement we have now is amazing. He won't come with me if I move. He knows he can't afford it. But you know what? Together we could.

I've asked Ashley to come with me. She's thinking about it. I know with both our incomes combined, we could live comfortably in a decent place. With Tom thrown in, we could live comfortably, and everyone would be happy. Well, at least the optimist in me is saying that.

I've missed you.

You have no idea how happy I am that you are coming back.

I know it's under sucky circumstances. But it also seems like a sign.

I love you. We both love you.

I don't know how to put it.

It was so nice to talk to you today...

&hearts.