CoG!!!

I've finished City of Glass.

WOAH. Let me tell you, that girl knows how to write. Such struggle unfolds, with that lingering underlying hope... I don't want to give anything away, cause I know Cat & Becca have read at least one of the books. Clare [the author, last name] has this way of uniting people, but showing dismal hope for their futures, whilst adding a tinge of teenage angst, then coming right at you again with new found hope for them. Some parts are fairly predictable, yes, but the sheer volocity of the details she etches into the pages make you believe you never saw it coming in the first place. [And in my case, then jumping up and down going "I KNEW IT!" over and over again] You won't be disappointed. There were times that I cried, yes, moments when I shuddered, yes, moments when I felt my heart lift with love and butterflies in my tummy, yes, and if you don't want to read the book by this point, you're crazy. :P

Anyway, now I need to find another novel to emerse myself in until Fall of 2010, when her next trilogy comes out. =]

EPIC

I've realized that if some vices were allowed, I would be perfect for religion.
I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I've tried gambling, but didn't like it, I don't smoke, I don't drink coffee like there's no tomorrow, I try not to do anything illegal.
My vices; Swearing and "intimacy".
I try to believe that I have a reason for being here. Not necessarily that there is a specific thing that placed me here, but maybe chosen by random [that would make a good sperm joke] to bring air to my lungs, and a meaning to my life. To be given that chance at trial and error, to learn from my mistakes and grow as a human being. I like to think that if I had been placed here as another living creature, I would be an exotic owl, or some other cool animal. Or maybe a cloud, even though I'm not sure clouds count as living beings to other people.
Or maybe in a "second" life, there could be fantasy worlds, like Harry Potter and the Mortal Instruments series. Wizardry, vampires, werewolves, faeries, shadowhunters<3, and other magical creatures in a whole different world. I think I would actually think I was in heaven if I was suddenly eleven years old again, and I got a letter saying I will be attending the north eastern American version of Hogwarts. Or if suddenly my mother disappeared and I found that she was actually a shadowhunter and all of those pictures of her from when she was young were photoshopped, or had a rune placed on them to hide the real background of Idris, and that I too am a shadowhunter, and have my nana train me, even though that doesn't happen in the book. Hodge is cool and everything, but I would find it so much cooler if my nana was a shadowhunter as well, and taught me the ways so I could save my mother. OOh my gosh, haha the whole missing father thing really plays into the story line. And it's possible my dad could be evil, seeing as I've never met him and know very little about him. Maybe there's an institue in Vermont that he runs... Hehe, I'm letting my imagination run wild. =] Prolly cause I'm reading CITY OF GLASS!!! Yeah, it came out a few days ago. <3
Anyway, I'm going to get back to reading that, cause I'm freaking addicted [hey another vice, reading. Just kiddinggg] and I know for sure that I'm going to cry. Cause she's all epic, and is prolly going to be like Rowling, and kill off at least one major character. And because it's the final book in the trilogy. But so far it's been uber EPIC, and I'm only just under 200 pages in. It's 540 somthing pages long. =]
Ahh, alright, I'm out.
Love yaaa.

Tom: You're the only place that feels like home.

Lately I've been subconsciously pushing him away. Taking all of my stress out on him, making snide comments to almost all things having to do with other girls that he knows.... He's been dishing it back. It's become almost routine. It's like, once I finally truly trust someone with all my heart, I'm tested. Leaving questions that could demolish all trust. And he feels insulted by this. The fact that I no longer trust him completely. I'm trying to work back towards that trust, but he needs to understand that it might take some time. But in his eyes, if I don't completely trust him, then I don't completely love him. In my eyes, my trust may waver, but my love stands strong, in hopes that the trust can be restored. On top of all of this, we are both stressed even more by not having our cars, money, etc. Five people and one car puts a lot of strain on everyone.
I'm trying. And I know he is too. I suppose that is all that matters. [Btw, the name of the top picture is called "Renewed Love"] :)

Hogie

This is quite the trying time for me. The only comfort I have is that of knowing I have people there for me, people who love me. And the clicking of the computer keys always ups my mood by at least .5 points. I feel I am venting. Not complaining. If I were complaining, I would endlessly speak of it and never have another thought in my mind unless I absolutely had to. This economy is bothering me to no end. Seriously, if I had all the money we [middle class deserving people, not the big wigs that put us here] needed, I would disperse it equally. It would tear me up inside if I didn't. Because I know what it feels like to be among the masses of people living paycheck to paycheck, if that. It disappoints me that I have not made it as far as I would have liked at this point in my life, but I'm also trying to realize that in my mind, everything really does happen for a reason, so the reason may be for me to appreciate college, working, and driving more than I would have otherwise. The drive to attend school, to better myself academically. The reasoning to see that I can find the good in anything I want to, even when it comes to working, and that attending college will bring me closer to having the career I desire, so I may naturally find good in my job. To take driving as a privilege and not as something that I'm entitled to. To appreciate any vehicle I can afford, and to take care of it the best I can.
It's just difficult to be put in a corner when it comes to these things.
My step-father feels that because he's trying to get me a job where he works that I have to work there. Even if I find a job that pays a bit less but is something I enjoy doing. And having to deal with the fact that no matter how much and how hard I work at my current "job" I may or may not be paid for it. It is so effing frustrating to put your all into a job that pays you minimum wage, if they even decide to pay you that month. I don't understand how they get away with it. They must either not turn in my work log after I fill it out, or they just tell the company that I've decided to work as a volunteer that week. I honestly think that might be what they are doing. And you know what? People tell me to confront them about it, but I would much rather get out of there and find a better job than start any trouble. And because my "job" does not pay me, I can not afford a car, which would transport me there or to said better job.
I can not even begin to describe how frustrated I am. There are a lot more things going on, but Tom's mother would like to use the computer, so I'll try to write more later.

...

Save me.
Please.

Venting Y'all

Kay, so I am like totally bummin right now. I'm so on edge, afraid something else is going to fall apart...
Tom's car is totaled, he was hurt, we as a couple almost fell apart, my car died, one of my fishes died, my phone died, my "job" is basically dead... I just seriously feel like bashing my head off a wall a couple hundred times. =[


AHHGGGG WTF MOTHEREFFER BLAH GAH BLAH GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUNKYMONKEY CHICKENSSSS!!!!!

I needed to get that out.

That is all.

For now...

Bk blues

I am so ahg right now. I don't want to drive home and then have to come back out in this weather, but its also kind of boring just hanging in the bk parking lot for two hours... Specially by yourself. I should have rekidnapped Becca and we could've napped together like old times lol. I wish I could sleep. I'm just afraid I will wake up wayy too late, or that somebody would scare me even though my doors are locked. So here I am, blogging via phone. Whatever. Ahg I love Becca's phone. =] we were going to trade until she found out how much my bill is. And we watched Becoming Jane, which we stopped at the part where they run away together, cause I wanted a happy ending. Lmao. I'm such a sap. My car is making another funky noise! Ahg! I love you car, please love me back... Haha, I just proclaimed my love for my car via blog. I wish a lot of things loved me back. My phone is playing music so I don't have to leave my car on. Right now its be my escape by reliant k. Op, its almost over and I don't know what's next... Its bedroom talk by the starting line. I heart them. My shoes are very colorful. My socks are blue. These aren't lyrics lol they are Megan facts. My pants are tight! My shirt is long. Aren't you having fun yet? Ohh I can't believe people actually go through the drive thru here at this hour. Hungry late night people. I'm kind of hungry. Not bk hungry though. And people think the dining room is open too. Lol one of the kids that works here is on break or something and went through the d-t. They must get bored when its slow. Becca took the coolest piccy on my phone. Its my background! Yay! Nap time perhaps? I shall try it.

First post about Tom. And it's quite the post.

Kay, so yesterday the love of my life gave me a pretty big scare. Tom got into an accident on Sheepboro Road, and all of us, besides the cops who are friends with him, feel the other driver involved was intoxicated. He smelt of it, and his words and actions point towards it also. Tom called the house, and Ashley and I got to him in about a minute and a half. 20ft from where Ashley had her accident, and flipped her car. Tom had crawled out of his car by the time we got there, because the fumes from his engine and the air bags were making it hard for him to breathe. He was lying in a snow bank, barely conscious. Ashley and I ran to him, and I eased in behind him to shield him from the snow. I tried to keep him awake, but he was slipping in and out of consciousness. We were there for quite a while before the cops and ambulance got there. I went with him in the ambulance. It was my first time being in one. I tried to joke with him, telling him "Who knew Riley of all people would be your night in shining armor!" That made him smile and laugh at least. It also made Riley blush, which made me laugh too. They finally determined at the hospital that he has a second degree burn from the air bag, and a sprained wrist. Today he woke up with back and stomach pains, but as we all know Tom, he's decided to go to work tonight and do a freaking ten hour shift in pain. *Insert eye-roll here* Anyway, he's fine, and his car is totaled because the air bags went off. Luckily, he's smart enough to wear a safety belt, otherwise it was determined he would have went through his windshield and into the other driver's grill. Lovely.
Oh yeah, and if you'd like to attend his pity party, it's already begun, but feel free to adorn him with "OMG's, Are you okay?s, and Awwws" They will be greatly appreciated by his ego. =P

Alice? No, Megan.

Kay, so maybe I should explain about this whole Wonderland thing... Wonderland is a beach about 30 minutes by subway from Boston. It's the last stop on the Blue T Line. Fitting, really. I haven't been there yet, but I have been on the line that takes you there. I really cannot wait to go... It's been a dream of mine for a while. It's like my non-holy holy land. And I'm pretty sure I want to go by myself the first time. Bring a book, a lunch, a pen/pencil, and my journal. Ohhh, what a day that would be.
The name is also very metaphoric, and that always makes me happy too.

What color, you say?

The sun is hitting my laptop at that annoying angle that makes everything reflect onto the screen. A sign? Look to your inner reflection... Or maybe, spring is here!! Woot woot!

It seems that ever since I started working at the daycare, my strength with people has been like my nails. No matter how many times I paint them, they always seem to chip way too easily. [[Especially while I'm there]] Yeah, pretty cliche girly of me to compare my strength to deal with people to my pretty pink nail polish. Now, I'm sorry to those who do not currently have a mode of transportation, but I have been dying to talk about my car.

It's a 1996 Toyota Camry. Black, with black cloth interior, that is covered on the front two seats by red and white Hawaiian flower seat covers. My steering wheel also has a cover, it's black with pink and white flowers[non-Hawaiian] on it.

I'm leaking oil slowly, so I have to re-fill it every two weeks or so. I'm also leaking anti-freeze in a very small amount, but I'm not too worried about it, because it's coming from the reservoir bucket, and not the radiator. The only girly touches I haven't made are in the back seat [minus the lips and heart gel stickers] and the trunk. Which I don't really feel needs to be girlified. I have a sticker on the back window that says "Powered by Aroma Js" because the o and the e came off for some reason but the others decided to stay. It's okay, cause I like it that way.

Anyway, yeah, that's me being a dork with my newness. It's cool cause the top of it changes colors. So it's like a mood barbell. =]

POKE!

So, I did something last night. Something that not many people approve of...
I've wanted to do it since I was thirteen or so. And I'm kinda proud of myself.
Kay, so do I have you hooked yet?
I pierced my tongue. Yeah. Finally. Always talking about it, and I was just out and about with Diane last night, and like, heyyy, I'm going to get this done for realz.
It didn't hurt, just a quick pinch. But I did feel kind of nauseous and light headed. But I think it was kind of just the thrill of it all.
It's kind of swollen, and I need to re-learn how to eat. lmao. But I'm happy with my choice.
Diane and I kind of come up with fun stuff to do that's either pretty drastic [my piercing, her cutting off 13inches of hair] or totally random. Mostly both. Holy crap, we were at Wal-mart like right before the shooting. [Cat- Some kid shot another kid in the abdomen inside the Rochester Wal-mart last night. I'm not quite sure what his health status is... "Kid" being 18ish]
Anyway, my mind is all over the place right now, so I'm going to update more in a few hours. Maybe post a pic. I know you'd like that. [Insert creepy old man voice from Family Guy] =P

Find My Way...

I heart veranda. The font, that is. =]

It does also sound like a pretty name though.

I'm looking for some sensible reasoning, some kind of sign. One that says, "HEY! MEGAN! YOU---WITH THE HAIR!!" One that tells me "Here it is, go this way, Ahhhh. I know you're blonde, but look for goodness sakes!" Writing inspiration, a job opportunity, a hobby.

Structure, yet surprising.

A steady job, college two nights a week, rollerskating every Friday night, a new experience every Saturday, and resting on Sunday.

Oh yeah, cliche, but you can catch me on twitter under meggers724. Hey, at least I'm not on facebook. =P

What was she thinking?!

So, I basically started this to be reconnected. To writing, to Becca, to Cat... It seems I've lost touch with them. Becca being the most confusing of them all.
My life as of now is this:
I work, and don't get paid for a month, because I am merely a sub, hence I don't need to be paid immediately. Wtf?
I look for a new job every single day. It's depressing. Speaking of which, I've stopped taking my Prozac, and have been having minimal withdrawals, but they're still there. I'll be twenty this year, which slightly depresses me even more so, knowing that I do not have the means to do much with my life at the moment.
Money, few and far between. There are no rose-colored glasses on these eyes when it comes to seeing there is a recession going on in this country. [I believe in you, Mr. Obama.] College students are dropping out left and right, due to it being even more difficult than it was to begin with to get loans, pay for basically anything college related, and even have the time apart from work to actually GO. And then, good luck even finding a job. I would know. I was so excited to receive a response from one person about a nanny job, told her all of my qualifications, which, considering my age, is quite a lot, and she asked for my wage range. I said, $8.00-$10.00. For a nanny position, caring for three children, one of them three months old, for eleven hours a day. Her response to that was "Sorry, but I was looking for someone in the $2.75-$3.00 range."
Are you kidding me? She wants someone to nanny her three children, one of them being a newborn, for $3.00?? Good luck with that one. I make $7.25 right now, and I do twice to three times the amount of work that the teachers making $16.00 are doing. There is something wrong with that.
Anyway, I'm going to post this now, and if I come up with anything more I'll be back. =]
Stay tuned.